Someone has to stop playing the sleepy lullaby music in the clubhouse, because scoring four runs in their last five contests is totally unacceptable. It’s total blasphemy, an achievement that teeters on the ledge of citywide insanity.

In addition, the knee problems that designated hitter David Ortiz has been suffering from and the beleaguered legs of Red Sox outfielders Jacoby Ellsbury and J.D. Drew only add to the overplayed soap opera of misfortune now showing at Fenway Park.

I mean, the only thing changing these days is their spring training venue. The Sox will reportedly move their spring operations to Sarasota. The move is mainly due to the fact that the Cincinnati Reds will join Arizona’s Cactus League.

The ninth-inning heroics April 29 were splendid. The smile on Youkilis’ face when he spanked the ball up the middle into center field was priceless. It was even more amazing to see David Ortiz round third and head home to score the winning run! But the true bright spot in the game was Jon Lester. He threw eight scoreless innings while allowing one hit, walking four and striking out six. He was finally hitting the outside corners against right-handed bats and had a bit more velocity on his pitches. Might he be turning the corner? We shall see.

Thoughts while waiting for Doc to take out the starters at the end of Game 2 (so yeah, I was thinking for a while):

Potenital Lawsuit of the Week:
So either Time Magazine or the NBA needs to sue somebody. For Time’s sake, I hope it was their idea first. You don’t want any piece of David Stern in the court room. He’d own 51% of the magazine after seven minutes in court.

I feel like I’m supposed to really like those half-face NBA Playoff commercials, but I never really did and they got old pretty quickly. But just for fun, here would have been my ideal (from a purely comedy stand point) half-face match-ups for each series-please consider both looks and voices.

Lakers/Nuggets: Ronny Turiaf and Eduardo Najera
Hornets/Mavericks: Peja Stojakovic and Erick Dampier
Spurs/Suns: Manu Ginobli and Boris Diaw
Jazz/Rockets: Kyle Korver and Dikembe Mutombo
Celtics/Hawks: Glen Davis and Josh Childress
Pistons/Sixers: Tayshaun Prince and Samuel Dalembert
Magic/Raptors; Adonal Foyle and Jose Calderon
Cav/Wizards: Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Darius Songalia

Loser of the Week: Mike Bibby

Here’s what bothered me most about Bibby’s statements after Game 1. It’s not so much what he said, but that he made such a weak attempt to motivate his team.

Jacoby Ellsbury is quickly (and quietly) approaching a Major League Baseball record held by future Hall of Famer Tim Raines. At the start of his career (1979-1981), Raines was successful on his first 27 steal attempts, the longest such streak at the start of a player’s career, according to stats provided by Sean Forman and the geniuses at Baseball-Reference.com. Ellsbury, who swiped 9 bases without being caught last season, hasn’t been caught in 8 attempts this year (including 6 in the last week), putting him at 17 straight to start his career. I know, I know, ladies love the long ball, but just imagine the excitement and anticipation as Ellsbury gets closer to the record. Every time he gets on base, the stadium — Fenway, at least — will buzz with excitement.

A streak like this is different from any other. Ellsbury, right now, is running around like a virgin. Once he’s caught, that’s that: He’s lost his virginity and there’s no regaining it in respect to this record.

Talk about deep? Here are my top-20 outfielders for 2008. The beginning of the 162-game quest is just days away. I can’t wait!

Home Cooking

Jacoby Ellsbury (OF) Boston Red Sox

All signs indicate that Ellsbury will be the man once the Japan fiasco commences. In 2007, he posted a .902 OPS in 116 at-bats, which I feel could be a bit deceiving. However, he has 40-steal potential and should be a lock for 100-plus runs scored in Boston’s dangerous lineup. Ellsbury’s bread and butter is his speed. Although he probably won’t register the vaunted batting averages of an Ichiro, he quite possibly could be the poor man’s version of the Japanese import. Ellsbury should still be available in the 12th round.

J.D. Drew (OF) Boston Red Sox

Last season proved that big money doesn’t buy happiness. Drew’s first season in Boston was atrocious. He hit .270 with 11 dingers, 64 RBIs, 84 runs scored and four stolen bases in 466 at-bats. Plus, he only played in 140 games due to various injuries, go figure. His .796 OPS in 2007 was 94 points lower than his career mark of .890. However, his postseason grand slam against the Cleveland Indians bought him some time, but if he doesn’t perform in 2008, the carnivorous fans in this town will begin to nibble on a daily basis. Drew will likely go undrafted in many leagues, he’s waiver wire material.

Jeff Goldberg of the Hartford Courant reported yesterday that the Red Sox have had no discussions with the Mets about swapping Coco Crisp for Angel Pagan, contradicting a report by WFAN’s Ed Coleman. Sox GM Theo Epstein termed the rumor a “fabrication,” and considering Pagan is a 26-year-old center fielder with marginal offensive skills (.255/.306/.415 in 318 career at-bats) and Coco Crisp is a 28-year-old center fielder with marginal offensive skills, it’s a pretty lame fabrication. I mean, who swaps light-hit, good-glove center fielders? And in this case, what would be the possible incentives for either side?

If you’re the Red Sox, I guess you’d like the idea of dumping a valuable, reasonably-priced player (Crisp) who said he wants to be traded if he’s not starting. If you’re the Mets, I guess you’d like the idea of obtaining a player (Crisp) who’s going to be riding the bench, demanding to be traded, when Carlos Beltran gets healthy. (If you’re Ed Coleman of WFAN, this all makes perfect sense.)

Red Sox centerfielder Jacoby Ellsbury sits down with Tanguay and Felger.