Someone has to stop playing the sleepy lullaby music in the clubhouse, because scoring four runs in their last five contests is totally unacceptable. It’s total blasphemy, an achievement that teeters on the ledge of citywide insanity.

In addition, the knee problems that designated hitter David Ortiz has been suffering from and the beleaguered legs of Red Sox outfielders Jacoby Ellsbury and J.D. Drew only add to the overplayed soap opera of misfortune now showing at Fenway Park.

I mean, the only thing changing these days is their spring training venue. The Sox will reportedly move their spring operations to Sarasota. The move is mainly due to the fact that the Cincinnati Reds will join Arizona’s Cactus League.

The ninth-inning heroics April 29 were splendid. The smile on Youkilis’ face when he spanked the ball up the middle into center field was priceless. It was even more amazing to see David Ortiz round third and head home to score the winning run! But the true bright spot in the game was Jon Lester. He threw eight scoreless innings while allowing one hit, walking four and striking out six. He was finally hitting the outside corners against right-handed bats and had a bit more velocity on his pitches. Might he be turning the corner? We shall see.

I know OPS isn’t a fantasy relevant statistic, but to me, it truly measures the overall hitting prowess of a player in monumental ways. Take a look.

One guy that has burst onto the scene this year is Chicago White Sox outfielder Carlos Quentin. The 25-year-old lauded slugger is hitting .298 with seven dingers, 21 RBIs, 21 runs scored, two stolen bases and a 1.052 OPS in 84 at-bats this season. Over his last 10 games, Quentin has hit .394 with three long balls, six RBIs, seven runs scored and two stolen bases in 33 at-bats. He is mashing at a .328 clip against right-handed hurlers and has performed admirably inside the home confines of U.S. Cellular Field while raking at a .326 clip. On the flip side, he sports a lackluster .176 average against southpaws and has hit a subpar .263 on the road. However, Quentin showed plenty of promise when he was with the Arizona Diamondbacks, especially in their minor league system where he posted a .955 OPS in a total of 1,337 at-bats. But with the influx of young and talented outfielders in the desert, Quentin surprisingly became the fourth wheel. Good for Chicago! He encompasses a powerful and fluid stroke that is only enhanced by his new surroundings. If Quentin is somehow still available, grab him quick. Plus, if his owner has doubts, make sure you offer your support and volunteer to take the Stanford alum off of his or her hands. 

A three-game sweep at the gloves of the Tampa Bay Rays was the last thing that I was expecting to happen down in Tampa. The Sox scored a paltry five runs in the 29 innings they played against the Rays (Game 1 was an 11-inning affair). Do you see anything wrong with this distorted and grotesque stat line? I sure do, their freaking bats hibernated, the pitching was woeful and the clubhouse is flu-stricken. Oh, and to add a little more hot sauce to the salsa, designated hitter David Ortiz is sidelined with a bruised knee! He should be back tonight.

The Sox currently resemble a small snowball rapidly roaring down a hill getting bigger with every rotation. They are on a five-game losing streak, and they are visually beaten down while the rest of the American League is just beginning to hit their stride. The sad thing about this whole ordeal is that it’s only the month of April.

When you think of championships, what comes to mind? For me, the heroics from the regular season that led to the World Series trophy being hoisted up high, comebacks, big wins and the downright dastardly demolition of weaker opponents. Thus far, the Sox are once again beginning to resemble something special.

What I saw against Cleveland was the grit and determination that has brought the Sox the trophy in two of the last four campaigns. From Manny’s rocket (his 493rd career bomb and No. 132 at Progressive Field) to Papelbon’s heat, Boston’s 6-4 victory April 14 was a classic example of what a true team is capable of.

I’d like to congratulate designated hitter David Ortiz on snapping his gut-wrenching 0-for-17 slump during the first-inning of the game.

Manny! For all you fantasy guys out there, Ramirez basically sealed the deal for former Cleveland closer Joe Borowski to hit the disabled list and open the gates for an undoubtedly better option in former Sox farmhand Rafael Betancourt. Grab him!

Boston closer Jonathan Papelbon routinely hit 96 on the gun enroute to his fifth save of the season.

My Spanish is a little rusty, but in this public service announcement, I believe Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon is explaining what happened to that infamous World Series ball. Either that or he’s welcoming Spanish speakers to Fenway Park, telling them to enjoy the game, and asking them not to feed Bartolo Colon.

In the background, I believe we hear David Ortiz calling Papelbon a dumb female dog.

(This is via the Cape Cod Times.)

Jim Aberdale landed a 10 interview with David Ortiz.

Gary did the one on one.

To the best of our knowledge, Big Papi hasn’t talked with anyone since arriving on Wednesday and after the interview, he promptly walked past the media throng into the clubhouse.

If you consider this post chest thumping, you would be correct.