A few things I learned this week:

• Dale Arnold should stick to hockey.

• Bobby Knight should stick to coaching.

• Dennis and Callahan should stick to holding out of their contract.

• Curt Schilling REALLY liked Doug Mirabelli

• Despite all the fan fare, it’s either the Lakers or Spurs coming out of the West.

• I don’t want to draw the 76ers in the first round of the NBA Playoffs.

• I should stop using words like “I” and “we” in reference to the Celtics. The only way “I’d” ever draw the 76ers in the first round would be if the organization made the ill-fated decision to scrap the annual team photo in lieu of a Rich Levine original. (Note: If I were commissioned to draw the 76ers team photo, I would 100% add one of those rainbow beanies with the pinwheel on top of Shavlik Randolph’s head. When it comes to art you just have to go with your instincts.)

Random Thought of the Week: How strange is it that Dick Vitale’s never called a Final Four game?

The man is essentially the face (or at least the bald head and mouth) of college basketball, yet he’s never sat on the sport’s greatest stage. It’s like if Marv Albert never called an NBA Finals, or John Madden never called a Super Bowl. You know it kills Dicky V. not to be there, in fact, I’m almost ready to guarantee that at the end of every season he brings home a copy of the National Championship game and records himself doing the color commentary over Billy Packer’s voice. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he also demands that his wife sit and do the play-by-play as Mike Patrick.

Dick: What a game!

Mrs. Vitale: Dick, can you please unlock the studio door, I’m tired and our grandkids will be here any minute!

Dick: I totally agree with you there, Mike! The Tarheels are awesome, baby! With a cap-it-al A!!

Mrs. Vitale: Dick, this isn’t funny. Let me out or I’m calling the cops.

Dick: The Dukies are absolutely scintillating, Mr. Patrick!! And guess what? Call the cops if you want, but you might be surprised to find that I’ve disconnected all our phone lines! Awesome, baby!!