A three-game sweep at the gloves of the Tampa Bay Rays was the last thing that I was expecting to happen down in Tampa. The Sox scored a paltry five runs in the 29 innings they played against the Rays (Game 1 was an 11-inning affair). Do you see anything wrong with this distorted and grotesque stat line? I sure do, their freaking bats hibernated, the pitching was woeful and the clubhouse is flu-stricken. Oh, and to add a little more hot sauce to the salsa, designated hitter David Ortiz is sidelined with a bruised knee! He should be back tonight.

The Sox currently resemble a small snowball rapidly roaring down a hill getting bigger with every rotation. They are on a five-game losing streak, and they are visually beaten down while the rest of the American League is just beginning to hit their stride. The sad thing about this whole ordeal is that it’s only the month of April.

The most glaring concern is the pitching staff, a culmination of hurlers that have combined to record a 4.61 ERA this season, which ranks 26th in all of baseball. The bullpen looks like a quarry of spare parts and the starting rotation is beginning to resemble a carnival construction crew. My first suggestion would be to drop relief pitcher Javier Lopez to their affiliate in the Newton West Little League and demote starting pitcher Jon Lester to the bullpen in favor of young gun Justin Masterson. It won’t happen, but I’m sure it’s a plan that a lot of you would adamantly agree with.

So, as we get ready for the Toronto Blue Jays, the Sox will once again march Jon Lester to the mound. By the way, he leads the team with 19 walks, which evidently supports my complaints and the fact that his control his equivalent to a hang glider in a hurricane.

Some good things, third baseman Mike Lowell is expected to be activated from the 15-day disable list today. Jeez, I don’t know how we lived without his elite .200 batting average and one run scored in 30 at-bats. In case you were wondering, Lowell is a ridiculous 6-for-30, now that’s money well spent.

Starting pitcher Josh Beckett returned from his “stiff neck” to notch a career-high 13 strikeouts only to net the loss. That’s what hibernating bats will do for a team.

On a very bright note, starting pitcher Clay Buchholz allowed two earned runs on three hits in eight innings of work against Tampa, he also notched nine strikeouts in the losing effort. Over his last two starts, he has gone 1-1 while allowing a grand total of two earned runs in 14 innings with 15 whiffs and four walks. The 23-year-old hurler is beginning to resemble what he showed us last season, that being a dominant force. Now, he just needs the bats to support him, which unfortunately is an uncommon occurrence lately.

Wake up boys, this town won’t stand for anything less than success. If it doesn’t happen, the summer air will wreak of anger, misery and tormented resent. 

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