As we all know by now, the Toronto Blue Jays used the Red Sox to build a nice little comfy nest atop the American League East over the weekend. They were outscored 23-9 and looked absolutely atrocious.

The pitching was horrendous, which was glaringly evident in the team’s combined 7.00 ERA and the bats were rendered powerless against a Toronto staff that combined to record a 3.00 ERA.

Plus, a soon-to-be 40-year-old Frank Thomas hit .333 with two dingers and eight RBIs over the three game set.

There’s not much to say in regards to a recap of this pitiful, putrid and nauseating series. I couldn’t bear to watch, so I subjected myself to shopping with the lady at the Natick Collection. Let me just say, it’s sad when you’d rather drink coffee, sit in fine leather seats inside a shopping mall and watch a 10-year-old strut his stuff on Guitar Hero.

So, if you were looking for some sort of picturesque recount of the weekend’s horrendous events, I chose to look the other way and watch it on my DVR. Things aren’t looking good in Red Sox Nation when the highlight of the week was a hawk swooping down on an innocent bystander gawking at Fenway Park. None of us had much luck with birds over the last week I guess. Oh, by the way, the Baltimore Orioles are 5-1 and a sparrow dropped off his luggage on my brand new car.

Let me ask you, what does a four-year, $36 million contract buy you? Well, it nabs you a career .271 hitter with a lifetime .333 OBP. It gets you someone who has four errors in six games this season. It gets you a 32-year-old, 28th round draft pick that isn’t good enough to start in Pawtucket. It buys you the services of Julio Lugo.

What the heck is going on? Why is this man starting? Why is he on this team? You can’t tell me that Jed Lowrie wouldn’t do better than Lugo! Step it up Theo, I know you have some sort of love affair with Lugo and J.D. Drew, but come on! You know how to draft, but really, the shortstop position is a glaring weakness in your scheme. But hey, thanks for the two World Series victories, I’ll never forget those.

Don’t expect much else from our beloved bumbling shortstop in the coming weeks; he has hit .265 before the All-Star break in 2,073 career at-bats.

If we didn’t sign Lugo, but inked Alex Gonzalez and gave Drew the hand to the face during the offseason preceding the 2007 campaign, we could have signed Houston Astros outfielder Carlos Lee to play right. He signed a six-year, $100 million deal, which breaks down to a cool $16.7 million a season. Drew makes roughly $14 million a year. The boat was surely missed.

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