Jacoby Ellsbury is quickly (and quietly) approaching a Major League Baseball record held by future Hall of Famer Tim Raines. At the start of his career (1979-1981), Raines was successful on his first 27 steal attempts, the longest such streak at the start of a player’s career, according to stats provided by Sean Forman and the geniuses at Baseball-Reference.com. Ellsbury, who swiped 9 bases without being caught last season, hasn’t been caught in 8 attempts this year (including 6 in the last week), putting him at 17 straight to start his career. I know, I know, ladies love the long ball, but just imagine the excitement and anticipation as Ellsbury gets closer to the record. Every time he gets on base, the stadium — Fenway, at least — will buzz with excitement.

A streak like this is different from any other. Ellsbury, right now, is running around like a virgin. Once he’s caught, that’s that: He’s lost his virginity and there’s no regaining it in respect to this record.

Between the Red Sox, Celtics and Patriots, the great City of Boston owns Texas-based professional sports teams. A combined 11-0 comes to mind. I thought I’d mention it, because it feels great.

Bring out the brooms Sox fans, because our boys just crushed the Texas Rangers in a four-game sweep that resembled the power of one of our great city’s roadside street cleaners.

Let me start off by saying that the Red Sox combined to outscore the Rangers 30-14 over the four-game set.

In Game 1, the Sox won 11-3 in a contest that was highlighted by designated hitter David Ortiz crushing a simply marvelous grand slam; it was the eighth slam of his career. Good old “Dice-K” netted his fourth victory of the year while surrendering five hits and notching four strikeouts in 5 1/3 innings.

Second baseman Dustin Pedroia mashed his first home run of the season with a sweet two-run bomb. I just don’t know how his 5-foot-9, 180-pound frame packs so much punch.

BALTIMORE — New York Yankees reliever Kyle Farnsworth was suspended for three games and fined Saturday for throwing a fastball behind the neck of Boston slugger Manny Ramirez earlier in the week.

Yankee fans rejoiced at the news, buoyed by the idea that Farnsworth, who tends to suck, wouldn’t be on hand to hurt the team for three games. Their joy, however, was short-lived, because Farnsworth appealed the penalty, which was to start Saturday night against Baltimore. He will be eligible to pitch until a hearing is held.

Man, I didn’t know they made that type of shirt in short sleeve too. Sweet. BTW, this guy’s impersonation of Man Set on Fire ends rather abruptly, no? Probably because some usher told him to sit down and respect Kate Smith’s grainy rendition of “God Bless America” (aired for the 900th straight home game). Personally, I think it’s criminal to stand between a senior citizen and his hard-earned right to “work it.”

I’m a fan of the game, so I don’t care how much or how long I complain about Red Sox shortstop and resident error machine Julio Lugo. As I type this, Jed Lowrie is awakening from his long slumber to begin a day that will culminate in sitting next to backup catcher Kevin Cash on the bench to watch a less talented player get paid more to totally screw up every chance he gets. I mean, Lowrie has more RBIs in four at-bats (three) than Lugo has in his 59 at-bats (two). Does anyone else find this glaringly ridiculous? Oh, how could I forget? Lugo has also graced us with six errors this season.

Red Sox starting pitcher Clay Buchholz must learn to harness his offspeed stuff. His control was all over the board Wednesday night. Plus, every bomb he conceded was a result of a fastball down the middle. Clay! I’m not your pitching coach, but watch some film of yourself; you looked like a Little Leaguer frozen in time.

Boston relief pitcher Julian Tavarez conceded three earned runs in 1 1/3 innings to take the loss. Ouch!

When you think of championships, what comes to mind? For me, the heroics from the regular season that led to the World Series trophy being hoisted up high, comebacks, big wins and the downright dastardly demolition of weaker opponents. Thus far, the Sox are once again beginning to resemble something special.

What I saw against Cleveland was the grit and determination that has brought the Sox the trophy in two of the last four campaigns. From Manny’s rocket (his 493rd career bomb and No. 132 at Progressive Field) to Papelbon’s heat, Boston’s 6-4 victory April 14 was a classic example of what a true team is capable of.

I’d like to congratulate designated hitter David Ortiz on snapping his gut-wrenching 0-for-17 slump during the first-inning of the game.

Manny! For all you fantasy guys out there, Ramirez basically sealed the deal for former Cleveland closer Joe Borowski to hit the disabled list and open the gates for an undoubtedly better option in former Sox farmhand Rafael Betancourt. Grab him!

Boston closer Jonathan Papelbon routinely hit 96 on the gun enroute to his fifth save of the season.

Jason Varitek is toying with us. At the beginning of the season, during games in Japan, the Red Sox’ captain looked like he was swinging underwater. He started the season 0-8 with six strikeouts, prompting one of my buddies to text me and say, “Dude, Tek is through,” and boy did it seem that way. I’m not kidding, I was already pondering the idea that Seattle’s Kenji Johjima, who’s also in his walk year (and four years younger), would be a good replacement for Varitek behind the plate in Boston next year. I know, how dare you! But come on, have you witnessed the charade this season in the Bronx? Jorge Posada signed a four-year, $52 million deal with the Yankees in the offseason, and now the 36-year-old, who somehow channeled the ghost of in-his-prime Ted Simmons last year, has a dead arm. How dead? Well, there’s rumors that Mike Piazza, whose arm fell off in 1999, might be signed as insurance.

There, but for the grace of God, go us.

Red Sox starter Curt Schilling, who’s currently on the 60-day disabled and unsigned beyond this season, said once again that he won’t pitch for the Yankees next season, even though many Boston fans would love to see the washed up 38Pitches playing the role of Sox mole next season in the Bronx, when the Yankees open their new stadium.

Schilling, deluded in thinking that “What have you done for us lately?” doesn’t apply to him, laughed at the idea that he would ever play for the hated Yankees, a notion his personal doctor, Dr. Craig Morgan, floated on WEEI radio.

“Me wearing pinstripes, regardless of what point of the season or my career it would have been, is not an option,” Schilling later said on WEEI. “I can’t … think back to having that conversation specifically … it’s not an option. Never has been an option.”

But why not? Ramiro Mendoza and Mike Stanton became Yankees for life by bringing their washed up games to Boston. If Schilling wants to win a permanent place in the hearts of Red Sox fans, he’ll sign a big contract with New York this offseason. Ya know, after he pitches for us in October.

Boston’s come-from-behind victory over the Indians last night was probably the most satisfying win of the season, due mostly to positive contributions from unexpected quarters. Truthfully, I’d written the game off as a loss once Jon Lester got lifted in the fifth inning, because Westbrook was pitching decently, Betancourt was waiting in the wings, and we needed to hold the Tribe down with Julian Tavarez, who, quite honestly, inspires as much confidence as Hubert H. Humphrey these days.

And so, purely out of spite, Tavarez takes the hill and throws two-plus innings of quality relief, striking out four while allowing two hits, then gives way to Mike Timlin, who deals one inning of unblemished relief, which hasn’t happened in three years (or so it seems). Meanwhile, Betancourt gives up a solo shot to Youk leading off the 8th…and this after striking out Big Papi and Manny with the tying runs on base in the 7th inning. I mean, who saw that tater coming? Moreover, who could have foreseen the 9th-inning implosion by Cleveland closer Joe Borowski? Ya know, other than all of Ohio?

Paranoid that a wily Red Sox fan had managed to curse his team, New York Yankees’ owner Hank Steinbrenner paid construction workers to unearth a surreptitiously buried Red Sox T-shirt from beneath the visitors’ dugout at the new Yankee Stadium and had it replaced with the body of Yankee reliever Kyle Farnsworth, who’s been dead to Yankee fans for several years.

The New York Post reported Sunday that two workers approached a construction manager with what they thought was the location of the jersey. After digging a two-foot by three-foot hole, the jersey was found.

“They absolutely pinpointed that if it was in the ground, that’s where it was,” Yankees spokeswoman Alice McGillion told the newspaper.

Initially the Yankees denied the jersey was ever buried in the footings of the new stadium. But clearly the Yankees brass is happier now with the shirt removed and Farnsworth entombed.

In four games this year, Farnsworth was 0-1 with a 5.06 ERA in 9 innings.