Thoughts while hoping someone would take Wednesday night’s Red Sox/Yankees game out behind the shed.

Announcement of the Week: NFL Schedule

Here are three quick thoughts on the Pats 2008 campaign.

• There are essentially two pre-seasons this year with the Pats kicking off the regular season with games against Kansas City, NYJ and Miami, a bye week and then a game at San Francisco. Let’s start getting mentally prepared now and promise not to make too big a deal if the Pats start 4-0 again with an average win margin of 30 points.

• The Pats follow up their Week 5 match-up at the Niners with a Week 6 contest at San Diego. Not only will this be the first overhyped, overanalyzed, storylines-beaten-like-a-dead-horse-game of the season but also brings up the biggest problem I have with this year’s calendar. Twice this season, the team plays back-to-back games on the west coast (these two weeks, and Weeks 14 and 15 when they play at Oakland and Seattle). How rare is something like this in the NFL? It’s been 25 years since the Pats and played even ONE back-to-back on the west coast! (They finished 1983 with games at LA and Seattle.) That doesn’t seem fair. Maybe Bridget Moynahan paid off the NFL to make it so Tom Brady would have to spend more time with his kid.

• Here are the Pats five opponents in the month of November: at IND, BUF, NYJ, at MIA and PIT. That’s got to be the most intense month of regular season football of all-time. And I think there’s only one way to top it off:

Sunday Night, Nov. 30.
9 pm, under the lights at Gillette
3 on 3, no holds barred death match.
Belichick/Pioli/Kraft vs. Walsh/Specter/Tomase.

Biggest Loser of the Week: NESN

I don’t have the exact numbers, but I’m guessing that NESN doesn’t have the easiest time drawing viewers to its Bruins telecasts. Hell, I spend about 10 hours a day watching sports on TV and honestly didn’t watch the Bruins once this season. And I know I’m not alone.

But with the B’s surprising surge into the playoffs, I thought NESN had a chance. No matter how indifferent the majority of Boston fans might be about the Bruins, everyone wants them to do well in the playoffs. Everyone will actively root for them in the playoffs. And most importantly, more people are going to want to WATCH them in the playoffs. Combine this with the fact that hockey is probably the most HD friendly sports in the world, and like I said, I think NESN really had a chance to right the ship and help build a little love for the B’s. Unfamiliar fans, would fall in love with the HD coverage, maybe get to know more about the team and think, “You know, this is kind of cool. I might be ready to become a Bruins fan again next season.”

Then they made this decision:

I can’t understand it on any level.

You really expect the city to take the Bruins seriously when you bump the absolute biggest game of the season for the fifth Red Sox/Yankees game of the last seven days?

And how does this work for NESN from a marketing perspective? They aren’t going to lose any viewers by putting the Red Sox game in standard definition. Most Sox fans would watch a game on a 13-inch black-and-white TV if they had to. But I’m guessing there’s a boatload of fans who would’ve watched a Bruins game in HD but tuned out when it was presented in all its mangled low-def glory. For a very casual hockey fan (I’m sure there are die hards who love it unconditionally), putting hockey in HD is like adding milk to cereal. It goes from a pretty crappy and boring snack to a pretty awesome viewing/eating option.

But you know what? None of that should even matter: This is the playoffs! It’s a disgrace that NESN would screw over Bruins fans like that.

I don’t even consider myself a Bruins fan and I’m insulted.
Winner of the Week: Manny Ramirez

As big of a pain in the ass Manny can be at times, there are very few things in sports as enjoyable as watching him at the plate during one of his trademark hot streaks. It’s like watching Slash play the guitar or Rain Man count cards. You watch him on a stretch like this and really start to believe he might have been put on Earth for the sole purpose of hitting a baseball. He doesn’t even seem human-well, he never seems human, but at these times he’s more robot than alien.

Prediction foe Next Week of the Week: NBA Playoff Edition

I’m 0 for my last two predictions here on Wicked Weekly. When faced with that type of adversity, a lesser man would look for an easy way out. Maybe he’d courageously predict that Kevin Garnett would win the Defensive Player of the Year or that a Kenyan would win Monday’s Boston Marathon. Not me, however. I’m going the other way, and will predict the outcome of every NBA Playoff series.

(Note: Thanks to the unbearable nature of the NBA Playoff schedule these first round series won’t wrap up for at least two weeks, but they’re starting now, so I’m predicting now.)

Western Conference

(1) Lakers vs. (8) Denver

Prediction: Lakers 4-1
Series MVP: Kobe Bryant
Secondary Prediction: Kobe nets 40 twice.
Headline You’ll Read: Lakers score nearly 1000 points in five games to take out Nuggets
Headline You Won’t: “Carmelo declares, ‘Dude, I’m not even buzzed. Gimme back my keys’ at Nuggets end of the year send off party.”

(2) New Orleans vs. (7) Dallas

Prediction: Hornets 4-2
Series MVP: Chris Paul
Secondary Prediction: Paul out triple doubles Jason Kidd
Headline You’ll Read: “Upstart Hornets prove to much for ailing Dirk and the Mavs
Headline You Won’t: After frustrating Game 6 loss, Jason Kidd’s girlfriend announces ‘I am terrified for when Jason comes home tonight.’”

(3) San Antonio vs. (6) Phoenix

Prediction: Spurs 4-3
Series MVP: Amare Stoudamire (in defeat)
Secondary Prediction: Shaq manages no more than 25 minutes in any game.
Headline You’ll Read: “Bowen criticallyinjures Nash, Barbosa and Bell; Spurs win.”
Headline You Won’t: “Duncan delivers emotional halftime speech; wills Spurs to miraculous win.”

(4) Utah vs. (5) Houston

Prediction: Jazz 4-2
Series MVP: Carlos Boozer
Secondary Prediction: Deron Williams average 25 and 10 assists
Headline You’ll Read: “Seventh time not a charm: T-Mac still 0 for the Playoffs”
Headline You Won’t: “Boozer credits obscene chest hair and serious sweating problem for Rockets loose defense.”

Eastern Conference

(1) Boston vs. (8) Atlanta

Prediction: Celtics 4-0
Series MVP: Paul Pierce
Secondary Prediction: Rondo outscores, rebounds and assists Bibby for the series.
Headline You’ll Read: “C’s cruise through the ATL.”
Headline You Won’t: “This is Zaza’s (http://www.nba.com/playerfile/zaza_pachulia/) world. We’re all just living in it.”

(Note: If you google the name Zaza, Zaza Pachula’s page is the 14th hit. I would have bet $20 that he’d at least have been Top 3. Who knew there was so much Zaza in the world?)

(2) Detroit vs. (8) Philadelphia

Prediction: Pistons 4-2
Series MVP: Rasheed Wallace
Secondary Prediction: Kobe scores 40 twice in five games
Headline You’ll Read: “Sixers give Pistons a scare, but come up short.”
Headline You Won’t: “Hamilton removes mask, but sadly only reveals a second, uglier mask.”

(3) Orlando vs. (6) Toronto

Prediction: Magic 4-3
Series MVP: Hedo Turkoglu
Secondary Prediction: Turkoglu, Rashard Lewis and Dwight Howard all average more than 20 points a game.
Headline You’ll Read: “Magic Make Raptors Extinct”
Headline You Won’t: “Rasho Nesterovic not ready to hand over title of NBA’s Greatest Center.”

(4) Cleveland vs. (5) Washington

Prediction: Cavs 4-2
Series MVP: Lebron James
Secondary Prediction: Lebron averages a triple double
Headline You’ll Read: “Cavs’ one man show proves too much for the Wizards”
Headline You Won’t: “Lebron cites Szczerbiak’s heart and determination as the secret to Cleveland’s success.”

Link of the Week: http://slideroll.com/show.php?s=04but1h0

A couple months ago I created my own NBA Where Amazing Happens video (I’m pretty sure I’m the only person in the country who had this idea). Anyway, with the playoffs on the horizon, now seems like a good a time to share it with the masses. Also, in case you forgot, Scot Skiles was fired over Christmas. That’s the joke there.

See You Next Week

Rich Levine is a sports columnist for the Improper Bostonian.

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