I’m bored. Either give me the NBA playoffs or bring on opening day… Seriously, if I have to spend another Saturday and Sunday afternoon choosing between college hoops and golf- I don’t know what I’ll do. You can only do so much work around the house in the winter. Trust me, the college hoops scene blows when your alma mater is 4-11 in conference play which is good for 13th in the standings and won’t even make the Big East tourney. As a result, here’s some of what’s been floating through an angry sports mind as I still try to shake the Tyree hangover…

So Kevin Faulk likes to chill the old fashioned way… Does anyone really care? The bigger question is why was he at a Lil’ Wayne show? Didn’t he have some crony who could do the dirty work for him? Oh wait- this just in- Faulk grabbed someone else’s jacket! The drugs weren’t his… Where’s Ty Law’s cousin? I love the jacket excuse. Did Faulk just see the old episode of ‘The Brady Bunch’ when Greg accidentally grabs someone else’s jacket and gets busted for having a pack of butts. Unreal! Or maybe he watched, ‘Meet The Parents’ last night and saw how Greg Focker accidentally grabbed the jacket with the pipe… Totally classic! Regardless, he’s next year’s Rodney and will now miss the first four games of the year. I don’t think we’ll even notice him being gone. Typically, the September weather in Foxboro is ideal for passing and Tom will being doing just that as he and Randy begin to hook up for another record-breaking season.

Am I the only one who vomits every time that damn Eli Manning and the Giants Gatorade commercial comes on the TV? I honestly can’t remember a commercial that makes me that sick… A commercial that makes me lunge for the remote with the utmost anxiety. No matter what I’m in the middle of, the station needs to be changed immediately. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d see a commercial on Eli being clutch and have him reap the benefits against the Pats and Tom Brady, of all people… Yes, I’m still bitter. And yes, I’m not over it. Every time I think that I am, that damn commercial just stirs up every last fiber of disgust in my 5′7 frame…. ARGHHHHHHH!

The NBA playoffs are just seven weeks away, and I think I’m like every Celts fan when I say- let’s get to it already! I can’t wait… I really can’t! If you were around back during the Celts last legitimate playoff run during the 2001-02 season- you’d know, full well, why I’m excited. It was the only time the Fleet (yeah, yeah I know it’s called the Gahden again, but old habits die hard sometimes… look I still call the Tweeter Center- Great Woods) has ever truly been rockin’ in its short existence. The buzz around Causeway Street was reee-diculous. The bars were jammed like Fenway in October. Basketball was back and the arena let the Sixers, Pistons, and Nets know why this city has always been a basketball town. Who knows maybe Beckett can replace DLowe waving the comeback towel from the luxury suites.

The thing I don’t get is how the NFL can go to such extremes about the Patriots spy-gate situation. But on the flip side, they completely wash their hands of the tampering situation which runs rampant through the 32 teams each and every year. Both are league rules. Both are illegal and both could have a major effect on the outcome of a team or game- for that matter. You could even argue that both practices (tampering and video-taping) are done by just about everyone. I just don’t get it. Isn’t contacting a player under contract with another team (especially if that athlete is an All-Pro) just as potentially damaging to the make-up of the league as video-taping a team’s defensive coaches? By tampering, you are changing the make-up of two teams in which one will essentially lose a starting player- now how is that fair?

Today Asante Samuel is a free agent. Many league insiders are pegging him to be the next cornerback for the New Orleans Saints. Ummm… is he trying to be the next Tebucky Jones? Is he following in TBuck’s foot steps? Maybe he should call Troy Brown first and talk to him about the big easy and more money…

Yes, I firmly believe that Moss will return. Patriots Nation is just moments away from the Pats announcing that their star wideout will be back wearing the Flyin’ Elvis for at least another season. Why would this guy ever leave? He’s happy for the first time in his career. He’s playing on a perennial contender and he’s catching balls from the best QB in the league. He doesn’t have to talk to the media or be the team’s main attraction. I laugh at everyone I’ve talked to or read that thinks he will end up in Dallas next to T.O. Give me a break… you can’t be serious- like those two could ever co-exist!

I don’t know about you, but I’m all about the Pats bringing in Ty Law for a second go-round. There’s nothing better than going back into the basement closet and pulling out an old jersey that you thought would never shine in the Foxboro sun again. Bring back #24 and while we’re at it, let’s brace for ‘Big Willie Style’ and Lawyer before the 2009 season gets underway next February. Seeing Ty dance down the sideline after a superb pick gets me every time!!!

Fort Meyers musings… Dice-K has a new pitch? Didn’t this guy already have the biggest arsenal of pitches in the majors last season? Word is that he has a two-seam fastball now, as well? How about just being consistent and winning 20 games!… Bartolo Colon is the new El Guapo- start making the shirts now… I always wanted the Rocket to return to the Sox and see the team retire his #21. Now, I could care less and want to see Buchholz sport his favorite number- 21! Give it to a real legitimate Texan… Leave Manny alone- we pay him to hit baseballs and that’s it! I mean he’s probably like Obama and doesn’t even realize Al Quaeda is in Iraq! Ohhhhh… How many days til’ Coco starts bitching? Vegas should have a line on this… Does anyone NOT think Ellsbury is going to be a stud? I ran into him at a private party with Chris Rock the night before the Super Bowl in Scottsdale. Out there in AZ, no one knew who the hell he was- forget about that here in beantown… Say what you want about the Commander in Chief, but he was on his game in his speech to our World Champs!

I’m going to miss Sean Salisbury. For starters he always praised the Pats. Let’s face it, there’s nothing better than watching your favorite show, in this case Sportscenter, and having a lead NFL analyst absolutely drool over your team day-after-day. Secondly, I actually DVR’d him calling John Clayton “the Crypt-keeper”. It was one of those gifts that just kept on giving and giving…

Let me start by saying that I love Wyc Grousbeck. I’ve had the pleasure to meet him several times and even interview him. He’s always treated me with respect and found the time to answer a few questions here and there but on WAAF the other day, he really surprised me. He was taking some listener’s calls on Wednesday morning and one guy was smart enough to ask for two tickets to the Cavs game so that he could take his daughter to the game. Genius move- I thought. But then Wyc shot down his request, claiming that every ticket in the building was spoken for and that even if his nephew wanted to go to the game, he wouldn’t have a seat. He’d have to sit on Wyc’s lap. Come on… You’re telling me that you are the face of the Celts ownership group, and you can’t snag two tickets to any game you want? Drop a dime. Come on, just tell the truth…

I remembered when I got a basketball signed by Gerald Green and thought it might be worth something someday… Good luck in Houston buddy- Congrats! You can finally move home with Mom and Dad!

Someone asked me what Calipari’s Memphis team and the Pats had in common? I actually stopped for a minute to think about it… IDIOT!

Can’t the Sox call up Erin Andrews’ agent and just get a deal done to make her our new Tina Cervasio? Enough is enough… we deserve it- we’re Red Sox Nation and the defending World Champs! If not for me, do it for the groundskeepers and security staff who hang out in canvas alley all season!

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